When Darkness Falls

Put me in a box and close the top and listen to my thoughts load the clip.....cock and squeeze and watch the force paint the world in black and red.


Internal homicide.....Picture a square peg in a world full of round holes....a story that seems to never unfold amongst the dog eared pages of a man who's sick twisted thoughts and intentions fuel his pen to bring you stories untold.


Feelings under the watchful  eye of yours truly......right me off as the misunderstood fool with his pen and awkward thoughts....lets place him in a box and seal the top.  My heart is what they say it's not but with a dark twisted spot.


Place your cares on the surface of my beating heart and watch it erode the cares and concern of the people who throw stones in glass houses....you water logged rebuttals have found a home in the putrid puddles of your tears. 

A Hate Love Thing!

My pen wonders between the college ruled paper searching for descriptive words to poetically explain the flesh slashing feelings that bubble under the skin of harsh words.  They ooze from the knife cuts to the heart....the occasional skipped heart beat suggest congestive heart failure and the shards of happiness are picked up and placed in its respective places....ink spilled adjectives dry under the hot steam racing from the writers nostrils on to the college ruled paper....he still has hope that words that were once spoken with the intensity of the mighty 300 of Sparta now become lost on thorn riddled vines that once housed beautiful rose peddled view points that don't offer much of a view.

Hip Hop

“So when did you fall in love with hip-hop?” my brown sugar we fell for each other….like a missed a step in a game of hopscotch I fell for hip hop.  My ears tend to listen to other pretentious women…her competition….she soothes the soul of the most cold heartened villains. Love sick melodies tango with sheets of music creating the perfect melody to the instrumentals of the heart.  I love her curves…the way she changes her tempo….the way she arranges her chords and her VST’s….her simplicity the art of storytelling numbs me.  “ So when did you fall in love with hip hop?”

Just Us

A dynamic duo; my partner in crime....a falling star saved by the wings of a black angel we glide.  Our back bone consists of the fights and arguments...the late nights lying in bed hearing her weep because of me.  Frustrated feelings from both parties contemplating separation...aggravated fingers attempt to transfer feelings and emotions onto thin blue lines that make up the topography of college rule paper.  Poems express our real life issues...no over exaggerated punch lines, just raw thoughts about the life of two people and a man that loves a woman that is working on her issues...all while taming a man with issues of his own.  Through the years we have grown and our souls have merged and our future becomes more and more sketched in stone.

Selfie

Selfie sticks and bathroom pics… social media have made it easier for the Trojan horse to infiltrate and project a picture that doesn’t have to be.  Women find themselves slave to a program that allows that somebody to become a nobody and where men quench their thirst feeding the ego of a persona that shouldn’t exist.  The watered down version of today’s woman has water logged the seed that was sewn and has not come to harvest.  Women are to get back to the carbon copy of the original queens…where self worth was a staple and the representation of themselves was worth more than the gold that they wore and they represented their kings well. 

Ominous

This side of me lurks in the shadows of the demonic part of my soul that holds the key to unleashing the one I call the other.  Flashing its winning smile making a mockery of the jokers smile it puts me in my comfort zone.  Going to that dark place makes me feel at home….alone in the dark left with my cynical thoughts…it plagues the part and plays the part of me that is usually at the forefront.  No gut instincts, it takes away the ability to rationalize my thoughts…the light is mind provoking and tries to creep in the unsystematic cracks that highlights the flaws of who really resides in me.  Flight or fight he resorts to fight, impervious to the numerous attempts by the force that supposed to overcome the darkness……the light has ultimately failed.  Some call him their alter ego…some may even call him the devil….I place him on a different level….like a rabbit dog without a muzzle it seeks and destroys but employs a certain wisdom not understood but to the vessel that harbors this beast.  The darkness lurks in the crevices of the folds in the wings of angels and is flushed out by the wind with every beat of their wings.  This is my other half…accepted but not embraced…prayed about but can’t be erased….this is me...

6 A.M. in D.C.

It’s 6 am Saturday morning and the sun stretches its rays up from under the comfort of the clouds and seemingly peeks through the cracks of the shades illuminating the pigment of her skin tone.  My hands seek out a place to play as you lay and let the sun’s rays demonstrate seduction. 

No work for you today its all play; I give you a gentle shake at the shoulder.  A smile greets me as she reaches for the roll up and lighter.  We spark the leafy substance that gets the juices flowing as our minds surf in and out of the weed clouds.  Silk sheets stimulate blood flow and helps release the chemicals in the body responsible for the urge to devour every square inch of her soul.

I kiss her slow but I’m currently in negotiations with my heart to beat slow….it races juiced up on adrenalin as I slide in and get cozy….my soul wants to be nosey and butt in the conversation between our hearts as they passionately converse in their native language.  Eyes lock like there’s a personal vendetta as I feel her getting wetter the climax gets better. 

She begs to make her sweat but doesn’t want to get her hair wet….in this game of S.E.X its no holds bar let’s not forget.  The fragrance of passion fills the room as the hour hand creeps into the afternoon and in that moment with the eruption of rooted emotions surface and show face and her face is painted with satisfaction

Break Me Draw Me

Tired of the struggle…seems like I can barely stay above water….constantly praying to the father.  Trying not to let the un-pure thoughts of why bother…..why try…..I take one step forward and fall flat to my knees…..I feel like all I want to do is cry…..but my faith remains strong and he gives me the strength to carry on.

Some days seem longer than others and nights seem darker than my darkest nights…..but I plug in and listen to my favorite worship songs….and cry to my eyes hurt.  My soul aches for better days …..Begging you God for a better way…..I would like for it to happen today but I know your will wouldn't have it that way….so I remain in my old shell and pray.  Hanging on to what my mother has taught me …remain in prayer and never stray….i just need you God to break me and draw me….let me feel the sandals on your feet….lay at you feet and watch my weary soul weep…..you know over the years I have defeated the biggest threat to me…..now I need you to come again and wash me clean take me and re sew the seems that I have broken.

Satan is always lurking….he controls that demon that I try to keep dormant….No weapon formed against me shall prosper tatted on me but sometimes I feel like it’s not working.  It’s hard to be a solider for the lord when it seems you’re going up against the world…….Years of struggle……different from the average but to some I don’t seem to fit the puzzle. 

So I keep God on my corner to fight my battles….I refuse to go down without a fight….especially when I have him as my light…..No weapon formed against me shall prosper……It wont work!

Peculiar

Being me takes a lot of courage…sometimes I would become discouraged because I started to discover I was different…a round peg I realized I would never fit in.  My face holds several masks and as I discover a different part of me a mask falls past a former version of me.  Smile after smile I hide what people can’t deny…..a guy that has the third eye….but I turn away from others leaving me blind on one side…..one looks to the sky and the other keeps a look out for thieves who wish to do me harm….nothing but a pawn I make the first move to take my rightful place on the throne.

Peculiar people are frowned upon and trampled on but the show must go on…we get up shake the dust from our feet but never except defeat …...the apple never falls far from the tree but that depends on which fruit tree we choose to eat.  Our faith holds strong….God holds our tongue so we do not do harm.

Beating after beating we take the left over stones thrown and build thrones…..people of the world fear the unknown so it’s only right they fear us…the unknown.  Busy focusing on the n.e.g.a.t.i.v.e it’s hard to see who we actually are meant to be…..an example!

Flushed

Nights I sit and think of the changes and to most... they were the strangest changes. family in Friends became seasonal.... making it hard to strive to reach my pinnacle.. flushed with my back against the wall home suddenly doesn't feel like home anymore. Every now and then my heart falls to the floor expecting the ones who say they care to come pick it up and place it back in my chest but it still lays there in distress sometimes tears make it from my eyes to my chest.... but he saw the best in me when everyone else saw what they wanted to see... but he carries me I leave no footprints in the sand so dare not to follow me... listen to my story to follow me... but listen carefully my life is depicted by countless critics with their gimmicks fictitious storytelling but I never let them finish.... because he is the author and finisher to my book while the closest ones to me dropped me in a pot and watch me cook and left me to rot.... but my fait they never took.... interesting!

Dear God

Dear God,

 I am writing you because my heart weighs heavy with confusion and it’s you that I look to…for clarity and serenity.  This cancer is spreading and affecting my relationship with you but my past teachers taught me that your word holds true.  Not a frequent reader of the good book and some blessings I blew on account of my ignorance and my earthly flesh tethers me and prevents the gifts I hold inside to burst out of me…..but I stand strong in the mist of it all…through the finger pointing and disappointment and the ignorance of others…opinions based off assumptions but you make me still love them…..why?

Sometimes my pride allows me to hold hate in my heart….this cancer seems to love me….. it can’t stand to be apart so it ravages my heart and it uses my feelings against them…..but I still miss them! Can you explain to me what this allows this to be, I should be gritting my teeth and completely giving them the cold shoulder….but my earthly flesh and my spirit that’s like you has me playing the fence whether to fall victim of continue following you…..but that’s a fence I don’t come to very often my faith is rooted in you….now I’m rambling I know you are busy with other things that’s bigger than me, I just wanted to send up a letter to you personally.  Thank you God for showing me that without your grace and mercy….things could be tougher for me.  Thank you for giving me the courage to release friends and family so I can focus on me but only momentarily.  Place the correct words in my heart so they may flow through my words and help them understand I am perusing only what you choose my life for…..but some things you say should remain cloaked with in your presence and not meant for all eyes to see.  Thanks again for not allowing any weapon to prosper against me. 

Drake "Fear"

 Drake "Fear"





This is me...I'll stay the same this poetry shit runs through my veins....no pre written.....this is from the brain....it all poor out like a leaky vein.....what up cold world...they ask what's his name.... the ones who know say that's the one who's wordplay is insane.

But that's not how it works.....but this is all I know I stay high just to balance out the lows....I like the round of applause after all my shows...I'm probably the most complicated poet that any of you know....complicated being but being is all I know....so I fill up my glass and give myself a toast....but no one hears or sees what I have to show....so I stand on the stage with my thoughts and my poems!


 So cheers to the hype...try to look me in my eyes
Society is scared of me and people who are like me.

I am living proof....this feeling isn't new...so you should be scared of me!!!!
You should be scared of me!!!!

Reality is made for T.V......somehow it just doesn't fit me.....and if my pen holds value my words will lift the weight off my motherfucking shoulders.....my ink seems to gather in a puddle.....my fountain pen bleeds like it's gotten into some trouble....I spit tough stanzas man I think i need a muzzle....I'm coming for the top with my team in the huddle.  Staring at members of team....there's been many but few and far between...just know I look up to you thanks for supporting all my dreams....I hope you tell the doubters it's exactly what it seems.  My brothers are the reason for a lot of my devotion....I remember we use to sit around and puff on that magic potion....some sit around and pop bottles....I was just alone with my emotions.... but the smoke got the words flowing like water that's in motion.

So cheers to the hype...try to look me in my eyes
Society is scared of me and people who are like me.

I am living proof....this feeling isn't new...so you should be scared of me!!!!
You should be scared of me!!!!

Dried Flowers

this one is a special one from my mother Flo Campbell...writing runs in the family.

Some people in my office take a curious second look at me when they catch me rummaging through the office trash.  I was only removing what is left of a once beautiful arrangement.    Women in upper management receive the best floral designs.  Okay, okay I don’t do this often – only once or twice a year.  We recycle everything so these items are placed in a relatively clean receptacle. After the flowers they received have wilted and the miscellaneous buds start to drop off, the whole bouquet is tossed in the trash.  I could never do that.  I never have.  I never will.

Anyway, for years now, I’ve salvaged the most beautiful woody stems which make the best fillers and accents. I’ve created some of the most memorable arrangements this way, often returning these arrangements to the very person that tossed the flowers in the trash. 

During a lunchtime ride today, I was thinking about how I wanted to be remembered after God has called me back to himself.   Will it be for my singing, my praise, my contribution to the Sunday school lesson, my hugs or my kisses?  I wonder what people will remember as I journey toward the end of my life.  I also wonder what people in general will think after they notice that my hair has lost it’s luster and the gray has creped in, or the once strong spine has weakened causing my shoulders and head to slope forward – much like the flowers I find in the trash.  Will they see no usefulness?

I pray that I will be remembered in the same way that I used the vibrant dried flowers that I pulled from the trash.  I want to be remembers as an accent that returned joy to a broken heart or life to someone who has almost given up.  I want to be remembered as vividly as the yellow dried roses and purple statice or sea lavender that I rescued from recycling. 

I study everything – no matter how it looks and appreciate the fact that it contributes to the beauty of my surroundings.  That’s how I want to be remembered.

An Emotional Mess!

Weight lifted off my shoulders all I can think about is holding her…..the remedy to my soul…I fall to my knees just to admire how beautiful she is from head to toe…..

Heart flooded with emotions but no confusion nor doubt can creep into my mind….my mind is made up to not pick up where other have left my heart…..and that would be on the sidewalk….

Picked up by a stranger bandaged up…..heart was hurt but never gave up…..she seems to be the only girl that has ever given a fuck….keeps me lifted ….she admires my poetry….and thinks I am really gifted….takes time to listen… she seems to know me. 

I know its love cause everything fits just right……the missing puzzle piece that seems to fit just right….Like the perfect contrast of colors….and how the clouds blend with the blue skies above us.

I never make promises that I can’t keep…..but who would had ever thought that you promises would make me weak.

Your drive keeps me on my feet….you tell me I’m a good listener…..TRUE!!.....but I just love to hear you speak.  Your style……..so unique……I can’t think of anyone else who could compete…..no competition…..my amazing.

Not fond of the naked man on the front but this was the only one that was clear lol.

Untitled

I'm sure y'all are familiar with Currens$y and his song "She don't want a man" if not then you need to expand your genre of music but here is my rendition of it I hope you like.  Let me know what you think.


It started out great....had plans to get off work late......dialed up ol girl made plans to head out straight.....to go get this bad red chick.....she couldn't be missed... long hair pink lips small waist...medium size hips...for a petite chick.....

but anyway... we cruising steady.... radio blasting blunt lit.... we got conversation going heavy....talking about how her relationship went bad and now she got a lil girl...fussing him out telling him this little girl doesn't even respect her own dad.....all the while she collecting her things form his pad.....

Scared trying to run away from the things in her past....in my mind I wonder is she ever gonna give me the ass...then I think to myself she could just be after me by the things that I have in my pad....trying not to forget what the streets taught me....

I know ...she don't want a man she just wanna fuck.....I know.... she don't want a man she just want to fuck...she just want a man that she can fuck....

I tell her to break the weed up.... he telling her he don't give a fuck....I know..... she don't want a man she just want to fuck.....

She ask can she stay the night.....just promise me you'll fuck me right.....she don't want a man she just want to fuck.....yea!

Now I been rocking with this chick about a year and a half now.....don't know where I went wrong....homies told me I should have left her ass alone....she knows your pockets are a little long.... don't come on to strong ......you need to send her back to where ever she came from.....but I didn't listen...mentally blocked from all the good lovin we made...in my own mind I'm sayin them niggas just trying to throw shade.....not knowing all the lust that we made...but little did I know it was all in vein.....this crazy bitch had me going truely insane...


I know she don't want a man she just wanna fuck.....I know she don't want a man she just want to fuck...she just want a man that she can fuck....

I tell her to break the weed up.... he telling her he don't give a fuck....I know she don't want a man she just want to fuck.....

She ask can she stay the night.....just promise you'll fuck me right.....she don't want a man she just want to fuck.....

Picture perfect....... looking from the outside in...but little did they know how deep I was in...having attachment issues .....listening to songs that gave him the blues....homies checking like dog this shit isn't you...don't let that needy bitch ruin you....as I proceed to nod my head and say true...  they proceed ....dog that girl just wasn't right for you..stay true to yourself don't let her get the best of you...I guess she wasn't a rider....

I know she don't want a man she just wanna fuck.....I know she don't want a man she just want to fuck...she just want a man that she can fuck....

Saturdays

Play fights on a Saturday Morning waking up to you reminds me of waking up to the smell of fresh cut roses…..I left those for you…..next to the night stand.   Silk sheets…you lying up under me…..movie playing…as the rain daces off the window pane as I watch you sleep.

Wake up from a long slumber the smell of breakfast cooking makes you wonder…..why is he so good to me…make no mistakes you know the answer to that question. 

Sweatpants and one of my shirts…you step out the room looking better than you did when we first met….table set……breakfast for two but all my focus is on you.

Pretty as the sunflower that sits in a vase on the window seal….your heart is up for grabs so I take it and stash….these other lames out here want what they can’t have….So I want to protect it….if she offered me the job I would accept it…..only been on call for a few hours now and I’m already promoted.

I prayed for a women like you….now you are here in front of me having breakfast…..God choose you to be my angel and I have to accept it.

Looking forward to many more Saturdays like this…pillow fights and breakfast….leaving sunflowers for you on the window seal and notes that say you’re amazing and picturing your thought process like I can’t believe he wrote this….on a Saturday!

The Perfect Mistake

Met this little joint through a mutual friend…..I could tell that she was digging the kid….so I stepped to engage in some conversation…hit her with a little word play.....made her see things my way……she dug what I had to say  so I slid my number her way….she put it in her mobile…..then I got mobile and slid to the next spot to the north side where the more high class chicks stay…..flashy cars and nice apartments home all on another niggas dime …depending on their looks to get them what they want every time… now that’s just the way they lived…..all that mattered to them is how nice the guys crib was….what kind of car he’s driving and how much he’s willing to spend to get it.  I won’t one of those niggas so they never really checked for me but they knew of me from who my peoples be…. that’s how light skin came about I met recently. 

…the glow of my phone alerted me to an incoming call…..haven’t saved the number yet so it’s coming up as phone….a 919 number though….so I answered….HELLO…deep down I knew who it was…..but I wasn’t  really sure.   Thick Northern accent…not mention an ass to match it…I caught on quick and said who it is…so she caught on quicker and said you knew who it was nigga…why didn’t you reply quicka…. To the text message I sent…. I had no missed messages….  I told her……..she told me to come show her…I thought about it…..thought about it long enough and I told her I’ll be right over.

Pulled up to the drive way….L still lit…looked down In my cup and I still had a few more crown royal sips….looked to my right of the car and she is standing there in her house pants small T-shirt and all hips.

Couldn’t wait until to get into those vagina lips…but I kept it cool because I’m no fool I knew this chick had a reputation to be fast and quick… and is known for getting you into some kind of shit…..walked up smooth…..eyes low and I just finished the last bit on liquor that was in my cup….I’m ready to turn up.  Dark stair well….. the climb to her bed room I’m sure is going to be well worth it….the nights been going well so far why shouldn’t this be picture perfect...what I didn’t know is she had a lot of emotion…the type that give you the ass….fold like in a poker game and throw all her cards in…..having attachment issues…reading too deep into things arguing about things we shouldn’t have to.  Just glimpses in to the future…sleeping with enemy I had no idea.  Come inside meant to cross the threshold…got caught up…and crossed the threshold and came inside…. But I only came by for a night… and what was done in the heat of passion wont right… but that’s the choice I made and the bed that I made…. so I’m playing in it……no plans in staying in it….boy the choice I made…now I’m living it.  

Imagination

kick back and let Goapele take your "Imagination" to a place where you find your perfect peace of mind.

Let’s have a drink….dance with me.  Take my hand we will dance the night away….dream about a place far away… where the dew plays and the blades of grass throughout the field seem to wave.

The night is ours and time is on our side…..you’re on the other side of me….my right hand woMAN…fingers locked with mine….we feel each other’s heart beat.

Conversations that seem to last well into the wee hours of the morning…..interesting girl I might add…..bright mind we talk about everything under the stars….from politics to cars….to what is the true purpose of the stars….to why the sky blue.....I say…. God did that just for you.

The color of the honey bee… down to the shape of a cypress tree…..she speaks intelligently and handles her business flawlessly ….a bad chick things just come effortlessly.

The definition of Elegance ….style and good taste….distinction and admirable neatness…and a smile that would light up the place….Running through the fields of your gracefulness…..i stop and smell the daisies and they remind me of you….how sweet you are and how I admire your patience….I can’t help but want to spoil you.

Living a dream where worldly problems can’t enter and we can have conversations with the planets as we entertain our thoughts….pay no mind to the underlying suggestions that I want to throw at you….hoping you catch it like it was just thrown at you.

The stars narrate the story line of our fate ….if you read the intro …you will want to read more and more and more….until the book is done and you found what your heart came looking for.

Just My Type

Good qualities…. book and street smarts…..a man’s perfect woman….mine at least.  Sweet but feisty the kind of woman I wouldn’t mind having beside of me. That DC type….. the kind when you walk in a party you have no choice but to turn up and get hype….but at the same time she’s more of the stay at home type.

Kick back and roll a J and sip wine type…..motivated by her dreams and ideas that turns me on to the highest power that’s the best part about her.  Freaky side of course and likes to stay in the limelight ….. But you would never know unless she thinks you’re her type.

 Tucked away and never shows it to the unjustly….. I guess I’m one who just got lucky…. but didn’t reveal too much it was one of those I can show you better than she could tell me.

The type that won’t wear a wedding ring….she just want to get money and do her own thing…make her dreams a reality and do it “BOSS”……she got it written on her front plate of her car and it’s in her walk.

Just my type…simple….. Yet fly….rather laugh than cry….loves to express what she feels inside… but she will never let you see her cry on the outside.

Bad Blood

Aight I been working on this piece for about 3 weeks.   I did a little venting on this one.  No need for an intro I think the title says it all.

Enjoy!

2 years….2 years and it was all in vein.  I was excited to make you my main….tried to give you everything….but you tossed it all away.

You try to play me for a fool…had me running behind you…had me by my strings a real puppet master...just another puppet to you.

You promised you would never hurt me…HA! A fool to believe….but a human I am so I followed my heart...a fool I am to let him lead.  Looked me in the eye and said you would never leave.  My heart hurts…only because I’m human so this pain is only temporary….

That can be healed…bandaged up ……walk it off like I don’t give a what…..but it hurts too much.  I thought you were for me but I was blind to see that you never really belong to me.  Stuck by your side…..I was something like your ride or die…..the twinkle in my eye…. Should of know it was a matter of time before that twinkle went out….turns out that twinkle in my eye was a shard of glass that brought tears to my eyes……what a surprise!   

Out of character…..I’m not the one to cry over spoiled milk or a spoiled trick.  I could have been loving the one who cared the most……but I chose to stay on a boat that wasn’t meant to float.  Now we’re up the creek with no paddle… no life jackets...no hope.

I choose to keep you close and pushed the other chicks away…I knew I should have listened to her when she told me to stay, that girl isn’t for you anyway.  I brushed her off and told her she didn’t know what she was talking about …got on that bus and took the wrong damn route. 

Now the first mistake was taking the bus when I had Lear jets lined up…… but my mind was clouded and my stomach felt crummy.  Thought it was butterflies from the puppy love but it was a warning from the man above me. I Should of listened now I’m sitting here with regrets ……how could you quit like this……I always kept it on some boss shit….but you decided to bitch and hit me with a text that said in a nut shell that you quit.

Through my words and this pen; my wounds will heal and as you become a figure of my imagination I will continue to write and become buried.  No worries it makes for a good story….ink for a blank page to put my thoughts on blank paper.  Therapy for the mind time for my thoughts to take over.

Halfcrazy *Musiq Soulchild*