Tired of the struggle…seems like I can barely stay above
water….constantly praying to the father.
Trying not to let the un-pure thoughts of why bother…..why try…..I take
one step forward and fall flat to my knees…..I feel like all I want to do is
cry…..but my faith remains strong and he gives me the strength to carry on.
Some days seem longer than others and nights seem darker
than my darkest nights…..but I plug in and listen to my favorite worship
songs….and cry to my eyes hurt. My soul
aches for better days …..Begging you God for a better way…..I would like for it
to happen today but I know your will wouldn't have it that way….so I remain in
my old shell and pray. Hanging on to
what my mother has taught me …remain in prayer and never stray….i just need you
God to break me and draw me….let me feel the sandals on your feet….lay at you
feet and watch my weary soul weep…..you know over the years I have defeated the
biggest threat to me…..now I need you to come again and wash me clean take me
and re sew the seems that I have broken.
Satan is always lurking….he controls that demon that I try
to keep dormant….No weapon formed against me shall prosper tatted on me but
sometimes I feel like it’s not working. It’s
hard to be a solider for the lord when it seems you’re going up against the
world…….Years of struggle……different from the average but to some I don’t seem
to fit the puzzle.
So I keep God on my corner to fight my battles….I refuse to
go down without a fight….especially when I have him as my light…..No weapon
formed against me shall prosper……It wont work!
